Here I am, at 6 in the morning. Tipsy and at the playground with sunny and his friends. What am I doing with my life?  I miss my old life. I miss the old me I feel so stuck in my life right now. But it was me...and me alone...who choose this path. So I have to live with the consequences.

Sadness

Why is there always a little sadness lingering in my heart? Eventhough there is nothing to be sad about, even when life is near-perfect. Even when I'm happy; truly happy, it is still there. Sometimes, the sadness squeezes my heart as though it is a sponge and crushes my lungs till it's hard for me to breathe.

Eyes as dark as the night sky,
Holding an eerie beauty.
Whispers that he has an equally dark heart
And an unredeemable soul.
Hands that have done sinful things,
Haunted by his past,
Lustful and greedy,
His name evokes judgement in the minds of many.
But she sees a shimmer of light
In his smile.
When he smiles at her,
It is as though it is meant just for her,
It sends waves of pleasure through her.
A smile that is full of unspoken words,
Unshed tears,
Unlived dreams.
A soul that can be awoken,
With nothing but a genuine smile.
She's the only girl that treats him with humanity,
Always with a smile playing on her lips for him and a wave to accompany it.
An untamed beast,
Misunderstood by society,
But cared about by her.

.

Regrets and Yearning

If I had just one more chance, I would do my life all over again. I would have made different decisions. I would have taken different paths. I would be a different person today. I would have dared to be different. I wouldn't have let the approval of others be the main influence behind my decisions. I would have dared to be me, to be true to myself, to express the real me. I would have worried less and done more. I would have the courage to do the things that are close to my heart. The courage to express myself through words. Through writing. Through travel. The courage to leave everything behind and explore the world on my own terms. See countries through the eyes of the folk who live there, to write about them and their stories. Meet people who are truly inspiring and are daring enough to be as eccentric as they want to be. I wonder is there more to my life than just this this mediocre existence, the humdrum of this dreary daily monotone where I wake up to the same things and tasks everyday. Where is the excitement, the great adventure that life has to offer? Why is it that when I look at the road that lead towards the future, nothing changes. Everything is as monotonous as it is now and everything seems dark and filled with obstacles. I wish God had made me a bird so I could just fly away whenever I wanted, to whichever part of the world I wanted to.

ENIGMA

What is it about daytime that makes us feel safe and secure?As though there is no presence of unbidden danger lurking about, waiting in the dark, for the right time to pounce on it's prey?

Why do we get possessed by that false confidence that comes with the morning light, thinking that the spooks that haunt us at night have creeped back to their dark, forbidding lair?As though with the disappearance of the swirling veils of mist and dark foam suspended beneath its' surface,all is safe and right?

What if there is no danger at all in the first place, even at the lonesome hours of the night?

"Now you see it, now you don't". That is where the real trick lies, just like that rabbit that disappears from into the magician's hat.

The same way that daylight tricks us all into thinking that nothing could go awry, and unexplained phenomenons are ignored for a good purpose : they do not matter as they simply do not exist and therefore we make the assumption that we have the sole advantage of seeing and halting danger before they arrive, the same goes for night. What if the night is merely a dark veil put atop our heads as a means of seclusion, shelter and protection? What if night time is truly intended to allow all civilisation to live in peace and in harmony with the happenings of the universe?

Night is a blessing, a beautiful gift to be appreciated and not feared.